Alot of things happened recently. I have gained and lost alot these few mths! I have gained experience in TV productions, chance to work and make new frenz in recruit express, closer to my RWS frenz, catch up with my "old" frenz and learnt to be closer to my family! However, I lost some things like chances to go overseas for holidays and participate in Maybelline contest!I lost freedom to even take no pay leave to go for filming for Maybelline!*sob*...I also wanted to go Shanghai with Yun Hui, Germany to visit Jiayi, and Japan with Ren Da!! But all these will not happen if I am not confirmed as perm. That's why I'm working very very hard now to be confirmed asap. I am late for work recently due to the rain and train fault. Above are the things that I have done for the past few mths!

Everything seems to happen so fast....one moment I m very sad, one moment I am very happy....one moment I give up, one moment I regret... I admit I still have not totally forgotten or given up...mayb tats the bad pt abt me...cannot make up a decision and too easily persuaded...anyway I m not a person who can easily forget abt something...esp relationships... and there r things I dun wish to forget...mayb tats wad they said...happy memories ba...but I m really not prepared and not brave enough le...

Mayb wad I need is time ba...mayb one day if I m touched by the things he has done, I may find back my courage. Anyway I dun wanna be his burden. I wanted very much to tell him to wait for me...but I m afraid I may be wasting his time again and hurt his feelings. Most importantly, I dun wanna hinder his future. Although I say I wanna forget, but said is easier than done. I m still very "she bu de!" I really miss him alot....but for the sake of his own good, I m willing to do anything...including forcing myself to forget him...(zhi yao ni kai kou, wo she me dou yuan yi zhuo!) I think somewhere deep in my heart, there is always a "place" reserved specially for him. I hope one day we can really forget all the unhappy things tat happened and will be happy together!

Many things happened during this period of time when I did not write my blog. Firstly, dear dear broke up with me! I was so sad that I fell sick. However I had no one to blame but myself. I brought it upon myself. From now on, I had to learn how to be independent. Nobody will be there for me when I lost my way, nobody will be there for me when I need to know if the things are worth the money, nobody will be there for me to give me opinions of how nice the dresses are, nobody will be there to inform me abt sales and gd "lobangs" and alot more................

Secondly, I m working at Pantages Hollywood at Universal studios freelance crew now. The pple there are super friendly! But dear dear is stationed at battlestar gelatica. Although we are quite near, we nv met.....He does not wish to see me or talk to me. Thus I decided not to disturb him for some time as he said he's enjoying his life now. *sob*......

Thirdly, my relationship with toufu man seems to be more complicated. We became closer but I was afraid of hurting him. He's really a very gd and caring person who deserves a better person than me. I m jus a normal girl who's always blur and always make pple angry. He really helped me alot thru the period when dear dear broke up with me. Sometimes I would think if I m really worth his love. No matter wad, thx for everything!! Thx for tolerating all my nonsense, thx for all the care and concern, thx for ur help, thx for ur company and thx for being there for me when I needed u most.